A Perfect Imperfection
by Your Kidney
Summary: Ed's new mission: Go to Hogwarts and find info on the Stone! Of course, there're some rules. He's to be a student, can't mess with the war, and is NOT to fall in love with his Alchemy Professor. …Oh, screw the rules! RoyxEd, Harry Potter, DISCONTINUED
1. In Which There Is a Prologue

**Warnings:** Yaoi (Of the RoyxEd variety), a bit of violence later on etc.

**Disclaimer:**It's not mine. But anyways, have fun reading!

Prologue

Ed sat on the leather bench inside his train compartment, across from a tall, dark-haired man. His head rested against the softly vibrating window, braid swaying with the train's motion.

His eyes wearily followed the scenery as it flitted by, lost in thought.

"_I have connections with a school that allegedly possessed a Stone five years ago. Although it was destroyed, they probably have books on it somewhere for you to research and see if it's close to what you need. I've also taken the liberty of enrolling you, and you start in a month."_

Tree. Rock. Bush. Forest. River. Mountain. Brook. Tree. Boulder. Cliff.

"_One more thing: Al isn't allowed to go. He'll be able to visit, and you can exchange mail, but there are board members I wouldn't trust with information about his condition. Secrets don't last long in this type of situation."_

Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack. Whistle. Clack. Clack. Clack.

"_I'm sorry that you can't come with me, Al, but the Colonel's reasons make sense. I'm really sorry."_

Ed didn't notice the black-haired man watching him intensely, black eyes drilling holes.

_A hand tapped Ed on the shoulder, who turned around in annoyance to see his commanding officer. "Huh?.! What're you doing here!.?"_

_Smirk._

"_I'm going with you, of course."_

The blonde fell backwards into the red plush and rested his feet on the windowpane. He closed his eyes, relishing the darkness that took over.

"_Hogwarts is an all-English sch– You do know English, right?"_

_A nod._

His feet slid down the glass with a light squeak.

"_Ah, Roy Mustang. Fancy meeting you again. Steel Birch, 12 1/3 inches, mercury core, right? It's been years since I last saw you."_

"_Huh? You already know magic?.!"_

He fingered the red wood that was tucked up his sleeve in a leather wand holster.

"_Fire Oak, 13 inches, Dragon Blood and volcano ash core."_

Eyes blinked open slowly and started to count dots on the ceiling.

_Ed nearly collapsed from all the weight of the bags he was carrying back to The Leaky Cauldron. He burst through the door and scowled at the smirking Mustang who was sitting at his desk reading a thick book._

18…19…20…21…22…23…24…25…26…27…28…29…30…31…32…33…34…35…36…37…38…39…40…41…42…

"_Ed, if we're going to survive this year, we'll need a truce."_

_Ed looked up from the book he was reading and stared in surprise. "Huh?.!"_

"_We've got to stay undercover, and that'll definitely be easier if we're…not always…at each other's throats." It was obvious that he had to force that sentence out._

_The blonde flipped from his stomach to side to stare at Mustang incredulously. The quietly bouncing springs were the only sound for a few moments._

_Mustang cleared his throat in embarrassment. "Er…never mind."_

_Ed stared a little longer before smirking. "Sure. Truce."_

"Edward, we're here."

He glanced through the window into the semi-dark to see them stopped at a cheery village full of lights.

"I suppose we are."

Mustang reached out a hand to help the young Major up.

Ed smiled, and gloved hands met in a firm clasp.


	2. In Which There Is a Feast

**I'm making it so Fred and George haven't left school yet, and they're only a year ahead of the rest of the gang. Kay? If you complain, I'm just going to send you right here to this paragraph.**

**InsaneBlackHeart**

**Disclaimer: Too lazy to make up an interesting one. It's not mine. End of story. I'm glad we had this talk. Now can we continue on?**

**Warnings: Yaoi (as the summary says, this is RoyxEd), violence, and perhaps mild drinking. But all in the future and not in this chapter.**

"Talking in English"

'Talking in German'

_Thinking_

**Chapter One: The Feast**

A blonde boy sat in a low stool to the side of a long table. His right arm rested casually on the surface, fingers making a loud clacking as they drummed against the wood. The countless candles that floated up and down held him so entranced that he didn't notice the hundred fifty or so children walk in. The few that spotted him right off nudged their friends and pointed, and through this process, the whole crowd was soon staring and whispering.

A couple minutes later (the kids had sat down and new ones had arrived), his chair was kicked discreetly and a voice hissed to him. "Pay attention, shorty!"

The boy jumped up out of his chair as if it was on fire and began yelling at the dark-haired, smirking man. "WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL IT'S HARD FOR HIM TO BE HIT BY AN ELECTRON!.!.?"

If there was any noise left in the large room, it was instantly quelled by his outburst.

Silence reigned, and the slightly short blonde sweatdropped. The sweatdrop grew bigger as a hat on a stool opened up a rip and began to sing.

"_Gryffindor, Hufflepuff,_

_Ravenclaw, Slytherin,_

_Those be the houses four._

_First for courage, and then for loyalty,_

_One for brains, and a last for cunning._

_It matters not where you are placed,_

_But whether you'll fight for freedom_

_Before humanity becomes erased._

_Trust in the strangers,_

_Be true to your friends,_

_And we'll all see this through_

_Right to the end."_

**(Forgive my crappy poetry skills…)**

There was scattered applause and a few whispers at the short song. A lady with a high, tight bun coughed and began reading off a long list of parchment. "Arsenal, Julian." A young boy, eleven years old, separated himself from the knot of children. He was gestured to the stool, sat down, and had the hat placed over his head. The brim hung over his eyes, obscuring them from view.

Shortly after, it called out "HUFFLEPUFF!"

EDROYEDROYEDROYEDROY

Ed blinked, snapping out if it again when an old man with a long, sweeping beard stood up.

"Now that the new batch of students has been sorted, I have a couple announcements to make! First of all, I'd like to introduce our _two_ Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers: Professor Shinesh, from Israel, and Professor Mustang from Germany!" **(Ed and the whole gang are closer to being German than Japanese, so that's what their "nationality" is. They're still from Amestris, or wherever, but nobody knows about it so I've got to give them a place that won't raise questions.)**

Professor Shinesh smiled with full, red lips and flipped her dark hair behind a shoulder. Catcalls sounded from every table. Professor Mustang just smirked, although that somehow caused a brand-new fanclub to be born.

"We also have two exchange students this year. Edward Elric is from Germany and will be a seventh-year student. I expect you to treat him with due respect and help him out learning our language. Mr. Elric, please step forward to be sorted."

His straw-colored hair, pulled into a braid, swung in time with his long, red jacket as he walked. Golden eyes brimmed with confidence, mischief, and well-masked despair.

The hat was placed over his head, shading the eyes from view.

"_Hmm, an alchemist that has seen the Gate. You don't see _that_ very much anymore."_

Ed whipped off the hat and threw it in surprise, the stool toppling over. "Holy shit, that thing talks!.!" The Great Hall burst into laughter at his reaction.

He glanced up at the Colonel who was snickering behind a gloved hand.

The strict-looking teacher stood above him, looking down, and spoke in her clipped tone. "The Sorting Hat won't do anything to hurt you, Mr. Elric, so put it on again before you get mobbed by hungry students."

He hesitantly nodded, righted the stool, and sat down once more with the hat.

"_I haven't been tossed around like that in a long time, either."_

_Shut up and do whatever you're supposed to do._

"_Well, to start off, you're short--"_

"I'M NOT SHORT!.!" The room was once again laughing.

"_As I was saying, you're short tempered," _Ed blushed at his mistake. _"but studious, and you have a very brilliant mind. For some reason you find it amusing to deceive people: You're _not_ German, and you're already fluent in English, and as far as you know, Dumbledore knows neither of these things. However, you use your craftiness in order to help people, and have saved many with it. Your courage is a larger part of you than the cunning, so:_

"GRYFFINDOR!.!"

He quickly put down the hat and walked to the left, middle table.

"We got the foreign kid! We got the foreign kid! We got the foreign kid!"

Ed raised an eyebrow to the identical twins that just happened to be over-enthusiastic about him being a Gryffindor.

"Hey, foreign kid! Sit with us!"

Ed rolled his eyes, but complied. "The name's "Ed", not "foreign-kid"."

They laughed and pointed at each other.

"So, he's Fred."

"And he's George."

"Weasley."

"Yes, don't forget the Weasley part."

"Let's try that again!"

"Yes, let's. He's George Weasley."

"He's Fred Weasley."

The two stuck out an opposite hand, hoping Ed would cross his arms in order to shake them. He just sat down, ignoring the disappointed-looking twins.

"And our second exchange student, Amelekh, from Israel, also a seventh-year!"

He had long, black hair to the middle of his back and wore all leather. Miniskirt (that got a chuckle), pants, shirt, trench coat…all in the hide of a cow and dyed either black, lime green, purple or white.

The hall filled with chuckles when he stood up from the shadows in the corner to sit on the old stool.

The hat took one look at Amelekh, and shouted as loud as he could so there would be no mistake where he belonged:

"SLYTHERIN!.!.!.!.!.!"

The house of snakes applauded loudly, seemingly glad that the new student was so Slytherin he didn't even need to wear the hat.

"Does that usually happen?" Ed asked the twins. They shook their heads in unison, staring dumbly at Amelekh as he walked by.

_Well, that just proves even _more_ who he is!_

Ed's stomach rumbled, and he forgot all about the incident for the time being. "I'm hungry."

"Me too. When do you think the food will be h-" As if on cue, the tables filled with plates and Ed jumped, signaling that dinner was there.

Ed forcefully bottled his surprise: he had been embarrassed enough already. A couple moments later he began piling his plate, taking something of everything. Here are there he would curiously look at something as if never having seen it before, but would just shrug and stick it on anyway.

Fred and George watched him in complete awe when he started to eat.

"He's just as quick as Ron,"

"Only no mess at all."

Ed swallowed, then asked, "Who's Ron?"

The twins looked at each other then back. "Our brother." They pointed to another redhead, sitting a few seats down.

The blonde twisted his face in disgust.

"That's gross."

They ate in silence for a couple minutes until one of them spoke up. "Do you know this new Professor Mustang guy?"

"We met on the train over, that's all." Ed shrugged and kept on eating. "Nothing to the story."

"So do you think"

"He's really from Germany?"

"He looks awfully"

"Chinese to me."

"I don't know. As I said, I only just met him."

Ed frowned. _How come I'm just noticing this? Is he from Xing? …This makes me feel really stupid._

Halfway through the meal, Ed's attention was caught by a boy sitting about thirteen places down from him, directly across from the one with the messy eating. He had black, messy hair and seemed to be the center of attention, although not really liking it.

"Who's he?" the blond asked, gesturing towards him with his fork.

The twins looked surprised. "Where have you been _living_ for the past fifteen years?!"

Ed glared. "Where I lived has nothing to do with the fact that I don't know who he is, and he interests me."

"Don't blow a gasket there, mate! We're only kidding with you!"

"He's only the most famous wizard of all time!"

"We don't really expect you to know of him, of course."

He rolled his eyes. "And what, exactly, is he famous for?"

One of them (Ed still couldn't really tell them apart) shrugged and shoveled a bite of mashed potato into is mouth. "It's a long story. Go look it up if you want. Or better yet, ask him yourself!"

Ed sighed. "Suit yourself." _And I'm supposed to live with these two for an entire _year

The minutes dragged by, the twins holding their own conversation, and the Fullmetal Alchemist felt his head continuously droop down in boredom. Finally, he gave up. In a couple complex hand signals that could pass as results of said boredom, he managed to relay a message to his higher-up, Colonel Mustang. (Who he noticed was starting to nod off as well). "Meet me outside. Don't make it look like you're with me."

Ed left first, slipping past the tables and under the archway, (some students still giving him curious looks) and leaned against the stone wall directly outside the ornately carved oak doors. He just stood there, completely still, until the one he was waiting for walked out.

"What did you want to speak to me about, Fullmetal?" the dark-haired man asked in his deep, commanding voice. **(Remember, 'quotations' means they're talking in German!)** He let the large door swing shut behind him.

'Just to exchange information, and besides, I noticed you were getting bored, too.'

'How considerate,' was the sarcastic reply. He remained silent, as if to tell Ed "You dragged me out here, you speak first."

'There's a suspicious-looking tall boy with black hair and dark skin sitting in with the Slytherins. He keeps rubbing at his left forearm, then looking around to see if anybody notices.

'In Gryffindor we've got the popular kid who doesn't seem to be enjoying himself, even though he's the center of attention. He didn't eat a bite all dinner. The twins say his name's Harry Potter, and he's famous for something, but they won't say. Kept telling me to find out for myself.

'And, of course we have Amelekh and Professor Shinesh. If they aren't who I think they are, then Scar likes wearing tutus!' Ed shoved his hands into his pockets. 'There. Now _you_ tell _me_ what you've got.'

Mustang sighed. 'There's not much to say. I had to sit next to Snape, who would be slightly interesting to talk to if he wasn't the most unpleasant man on the face of this earth.'

Ed raised an eyebrow. 'How so?'

'He acts like the whole world should be lamenting his sorrows, whatever the hell they may be. He-' the Colonel trailed off, as if uneasy to continue.

'Yes? Continue…' urged Ed.

Mustang's face closed off the trace amounts of emotion that may have been showing. 'That's all I was able to find out. You're dismissed, Fullmetal.'

The blond rolled his eyes, but obeyed. He knew better than to disobey his superior when he got like this. 'Yes, Colonel Sarcasm.'

He got a sharp glare in return. 'Go straight to the dorms, you hear me?'

Ed was indignant. 'What? Why!.!'

'You've had a long day, and if you _are_ right about them, well…I don't want to take any chances. Just go to sleep.'

He scowled. 'Whatever.'

**Again, I'm really, really, really sorry about starting again! But (1) I didn't like it (2) I had just finished watching the anime and (3) I knew I could do a LOT better if I really wanted to.**

**Also, if you ignored the blatant hints I dropped about Amelekh and Professor Shinesh…well…you'll see next chapter. Speaking of:**

Upcoming: Chapter 2: In Which There Are Bygone Introductions


	3. In Which There are Bygone Introductions

**Chapter Two: In Which There Are Bygone Introductions**

**Takes place a couple hours before the feast.**

**I'd like to thank Rein of Review Inc. for betaing this. :glomps!: You have no idea how much I love you right now! This chapter is dedicated to her!**

I sigh in the sullen way I've become known for. _I really don't know why Albus called this meeting. Just so he could introduce the new Professor and student? I'm sure we'll be getting _more_ than enough of those later on._

But, for one reason or another, the rest of the staff wants to meet this…_Edward Elric_ and this _Roy Mustang_

I'm exceedingly ticked off.

As soon as I admit this, the door swings open; in walks Albus, leading a tall, dark-haired man with black eyes and a strong jaw. From his right, just behind him, comes a short-ish blonde boy, his hair pulled into a braid and his bangs loose.

While Albus is introducing the staff to the pair, I scan them over. I don't know why I notice it – I doubt anyone else in the room does, the oblivious fools – but they have matching silver chains starting somewhere about the belt area and disappearing into their right pockets. Briefly, I wonder what they mean.

"--And the bored-looking one over there is Severus Snape." I blink upon hearing my name being said, and then inwardly curse my inattentiveness.

The taller of the two steps forward and speaks with a heavy accent. I try to place it as he does so. "I'm Roy Mustang, and the short one next to me is-"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE COULD DROWN IN A DROP OF WATER!?!"

Shock. That's the only word that can be used to describe the attitude in the room.

Mustang laughs embarrassedly. "I…had no idea he'd do that. Anyhow, this is…wait…what's your name again?"

"Edward Elric," he grinds out between his teeth.

_German. _The accent falls into place. Albus's next words confirm it.

"Ah. Now that everyone knows your names, why don't you two take a seat? I'll properly introduce you." Albus' command is, as always, sugarcoated and disguised to make involved parties feel they have a choice in the matter; the pair follows his directions "Misters Mustang and Elric hail from two small towns in Germany, the names of which escape me. Edward will be taking half of his classes with sixth years and half with seventh to give him a chance to meet more people. Roy will teach Alchemy here and act as a private teacher for Mr. Elric if needed. Do we have any questions?"

"Alchemy?.!" I ask, my voice impetuous. "How will that help us in the war?"

Edward snickers and Roy smirks. He snaps two gloved fingers and the red symbol on the back of his hand lights up. A large flame erupts into being. He manipulates the size and shape to become first a gun, then a coat, and finally a giant suit of armor.

Oddly, a wistful smile passes over Mr. Elric's face.

I struggle to keep track of the flame as it flies around the room, then toward an empty chair, consuming it in a matter of seconds.

"_That_ is how Alchemy will help you in your petty war."

I sneer. "That isn't anything we can't do with a wand."

"What if your wand gets snapped?" he asks, slipping a hand in his pocket.

"What if your glove gets torn?" I retort.

"Fire isn't the only thing you can create with alchemy," the man slips his hand out of his pocket, chalk at his fingertips – wait, chalk? He kneels down on the stone next to where he was sitting and starts drawing something. "It just happens to be my specialty." When he pulls back to put the chalk safely out of harm's way, I get a glimpse of what he did. It's a pair of intricate circles, one next to the other. He presses a hand to the one on the right, a blue light emitting from inside it. A stone statue of a tall, muscled man with an X-shaped scar across his face formed itself. Coolly, he lays a hand on the other one, and loud crashes ensue as three stone spikes impale and shatter the figure.

"See?" Both of the Germans look at me with a "beat that, bastard!"-look on their faces.

"Spells are still faster, I'm sorry to say," I inform them, arching my eyebrows. "You'll be dead before it finishes."

The tall, black-haired man laughs. "That's why alchemists are also experts in hand-to-hand fighting. Trust me, you wouldn't be able to go up against me and win."

A challenge. "Oh yeah?" We're an inch from dueling when the door slams open. A tall woman with dark skin and long, black hair walks in, followed by a boy who's probably around seventeen, has hair down to his mid-back, and…seems to like leather, I'd say. Just a little bit. He has a black leather top with a purple cross sewed on, a lime green…for some reason, leather _miniskirt..._black pants made of, as I'm sure would surprise no one anymore, leather, a purple leather headband and a black leather trench coat lined in white.

Leather overload!

Brother and sister? They've got the same dark skin and facial structure…

Everyone sweatdrops.

Dumbledore stands and greets them jovially. "I'm so glad you could make it! Did you find this place all right?"

The woman nods. "Yes, thank you."

Ed falls out of his seat, and I curl my lip at him. My years as a spy trained me to keep my cool in situations where unknown individuals were involved.

"Begierde?" he mutters, staring at her. "Und Neid?!" **(Basically translates to "Lust? And Envy?.!" I think.)**

They look at him strangely. "What did you just say?" the woman asks in perfect English.

"What the hell are two homunculi like you doing here?"

The newcomers look at each other with confusion dotting their faces (1). "What are homunculi?"

He growls. "You know what I'm talking about! Stop playing innocent-'

"Edward! Anhalten!"

The woman shies away, apparently frightened by the blonde's intensity and Roy's anger. "You must be mistaking us for someone else; I don't ever remember meeting you."

I think he's going insane.

Albus steps in before things can get out of hand. "Now that things are settled, let's start another round of introductions!" He gestures warmly to the two new ones. "These are Rakhel and Amelekh Shinesh from Israel. I brought them onboard at the last minute and, it seems, forgot to tell everyone about them." **(Amelekh and Rakhel look slightly Ishbalan here. Israel lots of prejudiced people. Genocide. Ishbal another genocide. Does my logic make sense to anyone?)**

The Headmaster lists off everyone's names at a speed that says he obviously wants to get done with this. I can understand why; this has been a taxing evening.

"So, now that we've finished with that, does anyone have any questions?"

Hagrid nods. "What year'll Amelekh be in, an' what does Rakhel teach?"

"I'm so happy you asked! Amelekh is a seventh year, and Rakhel teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts. Is there anything else?"

To my surprise, Roy Mustang speaks. "Yes, sir. I'm aware that if you can see the thestrals that pull the carriages you've seen someone die, but what do the riders on them mean?"

_He can see the riders, too?_

"We were also wondering about them," says Amelekh, gesturing to himself and his sister.

I hope my jaw isn't unhinging. _They're only kids!_

Albus sighs sadly. "I was hoping none of you would be able to see them. They-'

"It means you've killed someone," I answer for him, mostly to have a reason to keep my mouth open. The entire staff looks on in horror.

The new four nod, as if comfortable that all but one of them have killed someone.

"Israel's been a war zone for our entire lives," Rakhel gives as a way of explanation. I note that Roy _doesn't_ offer one.

Albus sighs. "I'm sorry to end this meeting on such a depressing topic, but we really have to get to the Feast. I believe Minerva has already left to go get the first years."

His eyes are too troubled to have only killed one person, and too kind to have enjoyed it. So how did he not end up like me? Sullen and closed-off to the rest of the world, afraid of letting anyone near?

My thoughts run a little too far with the notion, but, for once, I let them. There must be someone who brings in a little outside light and stops the darkness from becoming too overpowering.

Roy and Ed walk side-by-side, chattering idly in German.

The corners of my lips twitch up, the closest to a smile I've come to in a while. _I really doubt they were strangers before they came here._

But that still doesn't mean I don't think they aren't annoying.

Chapter Three: In which there is a Game of Strip Poker 


	4. In Which There is a Card Game

Chapter Three of A Perfect Imperfection 

Chapter Warning: Drunkenness

**I know that this chapter seems very unrealistic, but just bear with me. Ed's unreasonable drunkenness WILL have Ed-like reactions to it. Eventually. Meaning next chapter. Don't go around thinking I'm completely changing his personality for this chapter, okay? Just a head's up before someone starts this, reads half and gives up because of it, kay? Thanks!**

From Chapter One: 

_Ed was indignant. "What? Why?!"_

"_You've had a long day, and if you are right about them, well…I don't want to take any chances. Just go to sleep."_

_He scowled. "Whatever."_

Chapter Three: In which there is a Game of Strip Poker 

Ed stuck out his middle finger at the Colonel's retreating back. "Bastard," he said under his breath.

But he understood the reasoning. It _was_ possible for them to be homunculi (not that he hadn't disobeyed orders and run off into their trap multiple times already anyhow), and…

He sighed. He didn't know where the library was. And that put a _major_ damper on sneaking off in the middle of the night.

So, with nothing else to do, Ed leaned against the wall again and waited for Fred and George to appear.

It didn't take long, as the feast was let out five minutes later. The twins appeared in the throng a couple minutes after, chatting amiably about something. Ed thought he heard one say _follicle fancy_. Before his ears decided to play any _more _tricks on him, he approached.

"Erm…can you show me to the Common Room? I don't think it was ever shown to me," Ed admitted sheepishly.

The duo grinned to each other and dragged him away by his arms, laughing maniacally and bumping into random people in their haste to get him to his destination.

_Why do they remind me of Hughes?!?_

Ed sweatdropped.

"You're gonna have so much fun tonight!" the one on his left exclaimed.

"Yeah! It's our annual back-to-school party with our dorm!"

"There's only five of us, six now with you, but we have a ton of fun!"

Ed groaned. He didn't like the direction this was going.

"Lampshade," one of the twins said when they paused in front of a painting of a fat lady. She smiled serenely and swung open the door. A red and gold-based room was revealed with a low ceiling and a fireplace merrily crackling in the corner, chairs and sofas strewn before it.

"I think I can walk on my own from here," Ed said, unlatching himself from Fred and George's vice-like grip. They shrugged and led the way up a sat of winding, stone stairs.

The last door of seven was the one that they went through, and inside were six canopy beds, a suitcase or two at the foot of each one. The three leftmost beds had people sitting on them who all looked up when the other half of the group arrived.

"As you know, we've got the new, foreign kid with us!" said one of the twins. "So, of course, introductions are in order! The one on the right is Lee Jordan, Drew Miller is in the middle, and Garrett Johnson is on the left. (The last two are OCs, because I have no idea who else is in their dorm. Please bear with me.) Guys, this is Edward Elric, from Germany."

Ed got a chorus of "hellos" from his new roommates.

"So, we need to make sure our party is absolutely amazing!"

The five grinned at each other in a manner that reminded him eerily of the homunculi.

Eek.

Ed sighed and walked over to the far right, where his bed was, and sat down on it. He barely registered it in his mind when Lee yelled:

"Lock the doors! Put up a sound barrier! Let the fun _begin!"_

Garrett rummaged under his bed and pulled out a wooden box of bottles that clinked together when it got jostled around, and Fred pulled a box of his own from under his bed.

"Come on, mate! This is no way to spend your first night here! Get out and party!"

Ed rolled his eyes and sullenly got up. "Whatever."

Five grins were exchanged.

A small, blue, plastic-covered candy was handed to Ed as soon as he sat down with the others in a circle. "What's this?" he asked as he accepted it.

Fred gave an innocent smile. "George and I like making candy, and we want to give you one of our experiments. Go on! Try it!"

Ed looked wary, but unwrapped it anyhow and popped it into his mouth. It was sweet, but not unbearably so, and it spread throughout his body like it was … doing … something to him…

Fred, George, Lee, Garrett and Drew were rolling on the floor, laughing uncontrollably.

"What's so funny!" yelled Ed, completely oblivious. As always.

Drew smirked and pointed to his head.

The Fullmetal Alchemist raced to the mirror right next to the door and stared at his reflection in horror.

His hair was blue.

Not bright blue, but it was blue. Ice blue. It was blue. **(I know it might not seem like much of a prank, but they had to start out small on Ed. Besides, he looks _really_ pretty with light, icy blue hair. And I want to make Roy think so, too. :smirk:)**

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY FUCKING HAIR!?!?!?!?!"

His reaction caused the laughter to intensify.

"Stop laughing! What did you do!.?"

Fred pulled on Ed's sleeve until he was sitting on the floor again. "Relax. It's only a prank. A Follicle Fancy. And if you don't like pranks, then by God, get a switch as quickly as possible, because that's all we're about!"

Ed twitched, but then smirked as an idea hit him. "Oh really? Well, I'm pretty good at them myself."

Fred and George grinned. "You'll fit in perfectly! Now, have something to drink!" A clear, glass bottle with a reddish tint to it was shoved into his face, filled with a thin liquid.

"…Is this another prank?"

"Nope!" was the resounding answer from his new roomies.

Ed shrugged and took a small mouthful, which then proceeded to turn into heavy coughing. "You bastards!" he choked once he caught his breath again. "You could've warned me it was _alcohol!"_

"What else would it be?" asked Garrett innocently.

Ed fumed a little and set the bottle down as far from him as he could. Lee pouted.

"That's good stuff you're turning away, you know. Don't be such a spoilsport!" he complained. The blonde – _blue­ – _haired alchemist sent a glare in his direction.

"Lee, don't try to convince him," one of the twins murmured, but not quiet enough for it to be unheard. Ed raised an eyebrow, incredulous. Unfortunately, all feelings of gratefulness fled with the redhead's next words. "_Pressure_ him. This is peer _pressure_. Do it properly."

Drew grinned, nodding.

"Ed, everyone's doing it," he lowed, leaning in as he said it. Ed shook his head in response, suddenly mute.

"You're not _cool_ if you don't," Garret chipped in. The other boys started it, too, voices running together.

"It's not _that _bad--"

"It feels damn good, actually."

"What are you, a _girl_? You gonna go cryin' to your papa like a good daddy's girl?"

Lee's remark brought Ed to grab the bottle again, right hand fisting with rage. The group cheered him on as he brought it to his lips and took another sip.

"Ugh. This stuff tastes _horrible_," he stuck out his tongue to emphasize his point. "Mu—an old acquaintance of mine made _far_ better cocktails. Had really good scotch, too. What _is_ this?"

One of the twins looked scandalized.

"That's the finest whisky on the planet!" he cried out, pointing at his own bottle to clarify. "It gets you _roaring_ drunk in minutes! Nothing better!"

"But," the other twin interrupted. "If this _acquaintance _of yours really _does_ make drinks that good…we'll have to meet him. Can't let his talent go to waste, right?"

An hour after being coerced into drinking in the first place, Ed had worked through almost half of his bottle.

"I declare a toast!" Drew roared at the top of his lungs, thrusting his bottle high into the air. "To the upcoming school year! To sex! To drugs! To pranks! TO MORE SEX!"

"AMEN!!!" Five other bottles clashed with his in the center of their tight circle.

_Maybe the bastard was right, and I don't get out enough,_ Ed thought hazily. _Even though I can't really consider them my friends yet, this is…almost…_fun.

Ed didn't know when, but somehow a deck of cards made its way out and onto the floor space between the six.

"Strip poker!" yelled Fred and began dealing out the cards.

_Oh shit. _"I am…I am nnnnnnot playing tha-that game…" Ed tried to keep his voice as steady as possible, but the alcohol was preventing his success. Five pairs of puppy-dog eyes were aimed towards him.

"Those don't work on me…and I'm not playing…so don't even try," Ed slurred. _I'm really starting to regret putting away those cards I hid up my sleeve when I played with Mustang on the way here…_

"Pleaaaase?" Fred begged, and looked almost pitiful enough for Ed to give in. But not enough.

"No is nnnno. I'll just watch from the-I'll just watch from the side."

"Please?"

"Nope."

"Please?"

Ed closed his eyes and willed the swaying of the room to stop. He didn't answer, knowing that the redhead would eventually stop.

"Oh, whatever," Fred said, giving in. (Much sooner than expected, at that).

The blondie cracked open an eye to see the game just starting. He took a swig out of the bottle of Firewhisky that lay to the side and sat back. This was…going to be slightly interesting, to say the least.

**I'm sorry for the general overall suckiness of the chapter. And foe the OOCness of Ed. As I said earlier, there WILL be Ed-like reactions to this…abnormal Ed behavior. No flaming!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!**

3s! InsaneBlackHeart


	5. In Which Roy Gets Paranoid

**Yeah, this was originally going to be Potion's class, but…yeah. No. Sorry! And it's a little weird. Sorry again.**

**Chapter Four: In which Roy gets Paranoid**

_The blondie cracked open an eye to see the game just starting. He took a swig out of the bottle of Firewhisky that lay to the side and sat back. This was…going to be slightly interesting, to say the least._

/\

Roy turned his back on his young subordinate, who he knew would be able to find his way to the dorms some way or another.

He suddenly stopped and scratched the back of his head. The area looked completely unfamiliar, save for a few portraits. "Uhh…"

"Do you have any idea where you're going, Professor Mustang?"

The man in question turned around to face the Transfiguration Professor, his hand dropping to his side.

"McGonagall, right?" She nodded. "No, I don't. Do you think you could possibly show me?"

There was no answer save her turning on her heel and gliding in the opposite direction. Roy took it as signal enough to follow. He was soon very thankful for the intense training he still forced himself through. With all the stairs around, and such a large castle, it was a wonder anybody had any amount of extra body fat.

_That's odd…_ Roy briefly noted that Minerva, who had formerly been walking up the stairs with superior grace, suddenly jumped over a step. The thought was immediately off when Roy, following a few steps behind, found his left leg immersed up to mid-thigh in what looked like stone. He gave a little noise of surprise, alerting Minerva to his predicament. She raised an eyebrow at him and strode down the couple stairs between them. The older woman may have seemed fragile, but pulled him out with unexpected strength.

"Thank you," he said, nodding.

"No problem."

The two of them continued on as if nothing had happened until they stopped in front of the portrait of a young man in his twenties with striking, mallard green hair. He was sitting at a round, wooden table drinking something out of a large tankard. Presumably alcohol. Minerva cleared her throat lightly to get his attention.

"Elleth, this is Roy. Roy, Elleth. These will be your quarters for the year, and I'll leave you now to come up with a password," she turned around and sent a final look at Roy. "Good night. I'll see you at breakfast."

She disappeared with a curt nod at the two.

"So…" Roy said, not really knowing where he was going to be taking this.

"Just come up with a password or phrase to get in and see your rooms," Elleth drummed his fingers impatiently. "I've got a frame inside, too, if you want to chat."

"Oh," he stammered, feeling slightly foolish. "Right. Well, I'll just go with…" The dark-haired man paused, and then said in German: 'Flame Alchemist.' Elleth raised an eyebrow. "It's kind of obvious to those who know me, but…since nobody here does, it'll work."

Elleth nodded and swung open the portrait. Inside was a medium-sized living room with a bookcase off to the side and a door on each of the other two walls. It was a good deal nicer than the military dorms he had once lived in years ago. Instead of looking around right away as any normal person would, Roy opted for collapsing on his deep burgundy couch in front of the empty fireplace. He scowled. _That won't do._ The young colonel pulled one of his gloves out of his ridiculous robes and stuffed a hand inside. A snap later and the wood was crackling merrily. He sank back into the cushions, satisfied.

"Neat little trick you've got there."

Roy started at the voice, but relaxed when he saw the guardian of his room leaning against the picture frame above the mantle.

"I'm predominantly an alchemist, fire being my specialty. Dumbledore managed to persuade me to teach here." He explained. There was silence for a few minutes, until Roy finally gave into his curiosity. "What about you? You seem a great deal more modern than the other paintings."

Elleth smirked and shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm the newest one. And for some reason, Dumbledore likes me, even though I was your version of a Dark Wizard a few years ago."

Roy raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

He laughed. "I'm from an alternate world. My father didn't quite agree with the way my country was being run so rebelled, except not in a very…humane way. He and my twin, Lanah, killed each other in the final battle, and I took over in his stead. With my half brother and his lover we managed to defeat the rest of our enemies and become supreme rulers." All of this was said with a smile, except for the next part, when it became slightly forced. "The things we do for revenge, huh?"

If Roy was slightly uneasy about what Elleth had said, he didn't show it. "For your father?"

"Nope. Even though Lanah and I wanted the opposite things, we were really close, and she with our half-brother. When she was killed, we kind of went psycho on anybody we could get our hands on."

"Ah."

"Now that I've finished sufficiently creeping you out, I'll go back to what I was doing." Elleth flashed him a quick grin and ducked out of his silver frame.

"What a weird person," Roy muttered to himself. "I don't really see how he can act so cheerful even after someone so close to him had died… Though I wonder what I'd be like..."

Images of Maes, Riza, Jean, Cain, Breda, Falman and Ed flashed through his mind. _If any of them died…_ He pulled a knee to his chest and wrapped an arm around it, as if it would make the thoughts go away.

_Maes…_

_No… Don't let these thoughts take over again…_

The stresses of starting out a new, yearlong mission must've made his self-protection go kaput, and his insecurities took over. Roy was bombarded with awful images of his best friend dead, lying in a pool of blood. A funeral. Bottles of scotch. _If _he_ died… _Roy quickly stood and shook his head.

_If he died, it would probably destroy me._

The Flame Alchemist clenched a fist. _How am I letting this happen to me again? I thought I had gotten over my paranoia._

Too many years in war had taught him that nobody is safe from death, especially the ones in the military.

_Shut up!_ he berated himself. _Nothing will happen to him. My imagination is just over reacting. Maes knows how to take care of himself. I'll call him tomorrow and let him blab about his wife and child all he wants. He'll be all right._

That assurance seemed to unclench the knotting in his stomach enough to a bearable point.

_Well, at least now I know that phobia hasn't completely disappeared. _

Roy sighed and walked through the first door he came to, which just happened to be the kitchen. He turned around and walked back out again, only to enter the next one. Inside was the bedroom, a giant king-sized bed pushed into the corner with a blanket thrown over in many different shades of brown. To the left of the wardrobe was another door, presumably to the bathroom. By the time Roy had finished getting ready for bed, he had been able to shove aside all morbid thoughts of his best friend and forcefully replaced them with good times they had shared. Even the memories of when they were younger and had been lovers were included. It might not've ended well, but there were still things from that time period that made him smile.

It was odd. The small amount of turmoil Roy had gone through while he was awake had, in the end, led to one of the most restful sleeps he had had in years. It was devoid of nightmares centered around the Ishbalan Massacre, or of feverish hallucinations of the world closing in around him which left him completely alone.

/\

Pain. That was all he knew.

Pain of the certain species he had rarely encountered.

Pain, as in a splitting headache accompanied by an uncomfortable queasiness.

Ed bolted upright but immediately regretted it when bile rose in this throat and his head threatened to split open with the sudden movement. Using enormous willpower, he forced the sickness down so he could have another moment of peace.

"Crap…" he muttered and then added to thin air, "Why'd you let me get drunk, Al?" When he didn't get an answer, he just collapsed back into his bed.

The previously blonde teen was in the middle of a pain-filled, self-pitying groan when an awful though winked into existence. He hastily tore away the blankets he was under, and again winced from the sudden pain he received. However, he sighed in relief when he saw that his gloves, clothes and socks were still on and intact.

_Thank God. Mustang would kill me if our cover were even partially blown so early in the year._

Apparently Ed had been moving around too quickly, too much, as an awful taste filled his mouth as opposed to just rising in his throat. He found himself running to the bathroom and slamming the door, despite his heavy urge to collapse to the floor.

The Fullmetal Alchemist, Renowned Hero of the People, was reduced to kneeling in front of a toilet, retching up any undigested food that lay in his stomach.

He was _not_ a happy camper.

Ed slumped against the toilet in exhaustion, eyes almost drooping closed again. At least his stomach wasn't so uneasy anymore…

The door burst open, and Ed rolled to the side just in time for Lee to "hit the bull's eye" so to speak, without anybody getting unnecessarily covered in stomach acid. Ed grimaced, but knew his head wouldn't appreciate it if he moved a single inch more than he had to. A couple moments later, Lee shakily raised a finger to point up at the medicine cabinet, not feeling quite well enough to use words yet. Ed took the hint and got up to open it, making a face at his reflection. _Why blue?_

On the middle shelf sat a jar of smelling salts labeled "For Hangovers".

"Praise the Lord!" Ed hastily opened the jar and took a deep smell, feeling too shitty to really care about how stupid it was to stick his nose in foreign products.

It worked, and the effects were almost immediate. The previously blonde teen smiled at the absence of pain and passed the jar along to his roommate, earning a nod of thanks.

Ed padded out of the tile-laden room and onto the wood floor of the other one. He shrugged on his red, wool coat and headed down to breakfast. He was in no mood to deal with the hangovers of his roommates.

/\

Ed stalked into the Great Hall, relieved to find that it was only about half full. He was even more relieved when nobody really noticed his hair.

...Perhaps it was just commonplace for this to happen here?

He heavily sat down in his chair and waited a moment to catch his bearings before piling his plate with food. The hangover cure might've worked wonders, but he was still a little out of it. Three students to his left looked at him curiously.

"You're rooming with the twins, right?" asked the one he recognized from the night before. The one who ate worse than he did. Ed nodded once. "Did they turn your hair blue?"

Luckily, he didn't have to go through the humiliation of answering as McGonagall came swooping down with schedules, apparently not caring that not everyone had arrived yet. Ed gave his a once-over and stuffed it into his pocket, the words already memorized.

"What do you have first?" one of the curious trio asked.

"Potions with the sixth-years." He took a bite out of his bagel. "You've got that class too, right?" Ed asked, skillfully talking around his mouthful of food.

The only girl nodded. "Oh, and by the way, I'm Hermione Granger. This one is Ron Weasley and the other is Harry Potter.

Ed smirked his I'm-A-Genius smirk. "I know."

Hermione cocked her head to the side. "How?"

"Well, I didn't know yours. Fred and George mentioned Harry and Ron."

"Oh."

Uncomfortable silence reigned until the inevitable happened. Of course, Ed saw it coming miles away, but nobody else did.

"So, how's your first morning here?" Fred asks, sitting to Ed's left.

"Like the new color?" questions George from the other side.

"It'll make you a real ladies man!" they said together. "The women just flock to you!"

The twins shared a knowing smirk. "And, in your case, really stupid men."

Ed raised an eyebrow to humor them, even though he knew, deep down in his gut, it would just be an insult to his pride.

"It makes you look more like a girl."

Fred and George's faces were shoved into conveniently located bowls of porridge as Ed stormed off into the corridor.

"I can't believe the nerve of them," he muttered to himself, sulking in the same spot against the wall he had the night before.

He was broken out of his musings by a short chuckle. "Are the twins giving you grief, Edward?"

Albus Dumbledore looked over his half moon spectacles at the now blue-haired teen, his eyes twinkling. "Permission granted to pay them back." And with that, he turned into the Great Hall.

" 'Permission granted,' eh?"

If his stubbornness was going to force him to stay outside the doors, at least it could be useful in cooking up revenge ideas…

Ed grinned, and hoped it would take a while for Harry, Ron and Hermione to show up and take him to his first class.


	6. In Which we Have a Potion's Class

**Author Note:** I'm so sorry it took so long to post this chapter! I rarely write during the summer since I work a lot and…I'm just never inspired. And when I got it back from my beta it was sitting on my computer for a couple weeks, I don't know why. But it was. So here it is! Sorry for the nine-month delay! I'll hopefully post quicker now. Hopefully.

**Summary: **Ed has a new mission: Go to Hogwarts and find info on the Stone! Of course, there're some rules. He's to be a student, can't mess with the war, and is NOT to fall in love with his Alchemy Professor. …Oh, screw the rules! RoyxEd, Harry Potter, being rewritten

**Chapter Five: In Which We Have a Potion's Class**

"Talking in English"

'Talking in German'

**Recap:**

He was broken out of his musings by a short chuckle. "Are the twins giving you grief, Edward?"

Albus Dumbledore looked over his half moon spectacles at the now blue-haired teen, his eyes twinkling. "Permission granted to pay them back." And with that, he turned into the Great Hall.

" 'Permission granted', eh?"

If his stubbornness was going to force him to stay outside, at least it could be useful in cooking up revenge ideas.

Ed grinned and hoped it would take a while for Harry, Ron and Hermione to show up and take him to his first class.

**End Recap**

**And let's back up a little more while we're at it.**

Roy choked on his coffee in a very clichéd manner when Ed walked through the doorway and into the Great Hall.

He couldn't exactly place why he had choked as he did. Surprise? No, it couldn't be; he could suppress that if needed.

…Or, maybe it was? The young alchemist stuck so closely to his well-advertised ideals that to see him be something unexpected, like have blue hair instead of blonde, was like…Basque Grand handing out melons in the Fuhrer's place. **(Sorry, people who watch the anime. Manga joke).**

_Still,_ Roy had to admit, _it does give him a certain sort of appeal._

**Back in normal time**

Ed was perfectly satisfied with the progress of his prank ideas when Harry, Ron and Hermione meandered out of the Great Hall. Without a word passed between them, Ed joined their group and followed them to the dungeons. They were joined by three other sixth-years headed in the same direction. Ed kept his distance, preferring to listen to their conversation rather than join in.

He laughed to himself when they reached the dungeons.

'Laboratory 5,' he muttered under his breath.

"Excuse me?" asked Hermione, always curious.

"Oh, nothing. It just reminds me of a place I've been."

She wrinkled her nose. "It must've been very unpleasant there."

"Yes, quite."

The door looked about to rot off its hinges, and Ed, out of trepidation, stepped aside to let the others touch it first. He gingerly walked in when nothing bad happened, and looked around. He saw that, in being slightly later, Harry, Ron and Hermione had already paired off with others, so he sat in the first available seat.

Silence reigned as everybody turned to stare at him.

"What?" Ed asked, very aware of the multitude of eyes trained at him. "Is this an assigned seat already?" He looked to his bench partner for an explanation.

A haughty-looking boy stared back. "No, but Gryffindors, like you, sit on the **other** side of the room."

Ed pretended to ignore him. "I guess I'll stay here since this seat isn't taken…"

The boy scowled. "No, you're moving. Didn't you hear me before?"

At that very moment, the teacher walked in.

'Who knew shitty schooling and stupidity went hand-in-hand?' Ed sniped. He couldn't resist getting in the last word, even if it _was_ in another language.

'If you think _this_ is shitty, you should see the other schools,' Malfoy whispered back in the same tongue.

Ed froze in the middle of taking a pen and paper from his bag. 'You're just a kid! How are you so fluent in another language so young?'

He scoffed. 'I'm just as young as you, and besides, I've had a very sophisticated upbringing.'

There was a crack of wood hitting their desks, and the two sat up straight in their seats. "Elric, I'm not surprised at _you_ talking when I'm about to start class, but Malfoy? I'm shocked!" Snape said, looking down his oversized nose at them.

Ed rolled his eyes, purposefully riling up the professor even more.

"You think you're so special because you're the new student, don't you?" the man sneered. "Since you act all-knowing, let's see if you really _are._"

Ed raised an eyebrow. "How do you expect to do that, sir?"

Snape turned on his heel and billowed to the front of the room, where he glared down the whole class. "Tell me, what would happen if I mixed powdered unicorn horn with phoenix tears?"

The class blinked in unison. A few looked around to see if anyone else understood how to work out the question. Ed, unfazed, picked up his notebook and pen. "Tell me the chemical composition, and I'll see what I can do."

Professor Snape must've been shocked, but nothing showed, and he listed off as he was asked. Ed scribbled the equations down on the lined paper in the messy chicken scratch he was accustomed to using in situations like these.

After a couple minutes Ed looked up, ignoring all the blatant stares his classmates were giving him. "There will only be a small explosion, and the remainder will probably be lethal."

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Who taught you to do all of this?

Ed smirked. "The Truth."

Unwilling to admit defeat, Snape backed down. **(Just don't tell him those are pretty much the same thing!)** "He taught you well," he ground out between his teeth.

Ed gloated in his self-proclaimed superiority.

The teacher huffed and turned his attention back to the rest of the class. He reached his hand into a shelf under his desk and pulled out a vial. "Can anyone tell me what this is?" he asked, daring anyone to answer.

Hermione shot her hand in the air, clueless as ever to everything around her. "It's mercury, sir, an element, which means it's only made up of one type of atom, and it's a poisonous su–"

"Wrong." Ed cut her off. "This is too dark and liquidy to be mercury."

The girl's eyes widened and she blushed heavily. "How would you know?"

Before Ed could come up with a retort, Professor Snape cut in. "That will be all. Mr. Elric is right. This is _not_ mercury, but an extremely strong sleeping potion that you'll make today. Open your textbooks to page 14. Ingredients are on the other side of the room. " He gathered his robe and sat down on his brown, plush chair while the class became a flurry of activity.

"Is he always like this?" Ed asked his bench partner as they got up to get their required things.

"Like what?"

"Are his instructions always so short and to the point?"

Draco shrugged. "Usually. But for the more difficult potions he tends to go over them on the board the next day and explain why certain things happen."

"That seems reasonable." They had both returned to their seats by the time either spoke again.

"Do you like them?"

Ed paused with his knife poised over his boomslang skin. "Who?"

Draco lowered his voice and began to speak in German so as to keep their conversation private. 'The three you came into class with.'

'Well…' He stalled by pouring the prepared goats' eyes and stirring it seven times clockwise. 'They seem to have good intentions, but they've no idea what the real world is like.'

Draco raised an eyebrow, which was most likely the most amount of shock he was willing to show. 'You're probably the first Gryffindor that hasn't blindly followed them from the moment they see them.'

'I don't blindly follow _anyone_.'

Nothing more needed to be said as they chopped and stirred.

When Professor Snape came around forty minutes later, the two of them had a perfect potion: not too thick, and a nice, dark silvery color. He looked torn between complimenting Draco and turning his nose up at the Gryffindor.

"Very good, Draco," he said in a voice as greasy as his hair. "I suppose you did most of the work?"

The Slytherin looked his teacher square in the eyes. "Actually, Elric helped a lot."

Ed hid a self-satisfied smirk as Professor Snape gave them a withering stare and swept off to breathe down the necks of other random students.

ROYxED ROYxED ROYxED ROYxED ROYxED

"Where do you go next?" Ed asked Draco as the bell rang and they began to pick up. It was the first thing said from either of them since Snape had made his rounds.

"Charms with the Hufflepuffs. You?"

"Sixth-year transfiguration."

Draco nodded. "The Ravenclaws are good to have in that class. McGonagall likes them and your two houses work together really well."

"How hard is it?"

"Not at all if you understand the concepts. That, however, is a whole different matter." Draco began walking down a branching-off corridor. "See you in a couple days," were his parting words.

Ed smiled and shrugged. "He's surely an interesting guy."

Now that Malfoy was gone, Harry and his friends stopped. They looked at him, with that facial expression that said: "What were you doing talking to him?"

Ed rolled his eyes. "Honestly, he's not all that bad. I don't know why you hate him so much."

Ten minutes later, Ed wished he hadn't given them an opening to rant about their least favorite person.

"This is it, right?" he asked, if only to shut them up. Without waiting for an answer - he didn't really need one - he walked right through the door clearly labeled "Transfiguration".

The blond walked to a seat in the front row and sat down in it. He set his bag on the desk, and, with a bit of rummaging, produced a piece of paper and pen.

_Dear Al_ he wrote in German, then chewed on the tip of his pen.

_Hogwarts is pretty cool. Mustang and I have a truce, but we've still argued a couple times. There're three people here that force me to sit with them when I have classes with them. They could be cool if they learned they weren't rulers of the world._

_I think two homunculi might be here, but I'm not going to make a scene yet. I'll just keep an eye on them._

_How are things at home? Is Winry occupying herself?_

_I miss you,_

_Ed_

He folded the paper into thirds and stuck it in an envelope. _I'll mail this during lunch._

Ed sat back and patiently waited for class to start.

**Again, I'm sorry it took so long:dies: I'm becoming the type of author that I hate! But the more reviews I get the more inspired I'll be to write!**

**And thanks to Reinofreviewinc for being a wonderful beta, as always!**

**InsaneBlackHeart**


	7. In Which They Chat a Little

**A Perfect Imperfection, Chapter Seven**

**Summary: **Ed's new mission: Go to Hogwarts and find info on the Stone! Of course, there're some rules. He's to be a student, can't mess with the war, and is NOT to fall in love with his Alchemy Professor. …Oh, screw the rules!

**AUTHOR NOTE: This hasn't been betaed, but since I'd rather have an unedited one and put it up now than wait for six weeks until I get back from Israel. So I'll put up the better version when I get home. Sorry **Rein of Review inc** for not waiting around, but I'd like to post!**

**InsaneBlackHeart**

Ed sighed as he listened with half an ear to Professor McGonagall's lecture. It was pointless, really, to try and pay attention to something he didn't believe and likely never would.

"Mr. Elric," Professor McGonagall said. He jerked his head up and looked at her. "I've given the rest of the class instructions on what to work on for the rest of the period. Did you not hear them or are you rather ignoring me?"

"I'm sorry, Professor," he said in a flat voice. Activity in the class slowed so they could hear him. "I don't believe in trying anything new until I know how it works."

She turned and walked to her desk while the students hurried to look like they were doing something. "In that case, Mr. Elric, I'll write you a pass to go to the library and you can begin reading up on the theory for the rest of the period. I expect you to come back next time prepared to work."

Ed gathered up his supplies and stuffed them into his book bag. He calmly walked down the aisle, ignoring the whispers and mutterings that followed him.

"Thank you, Professor," he said and accepted the yellow slip.

– – –

Ed waited until he was sufficiently far away from the classroom before digging out a map of the school.

'Ah, shit,' he muttered in German. 'I have no idea which way I'm facing.' He continued down the hallway in which he hoped was the right direction.

Fifteen minutes later of directionless wandering, Ed stopped in front of a portrait. "Which way is the library?" he asked.

"Go the way you were going, take your second right, then a left, up the first set of stairs you come across, a right, and it's at the end of the hallway," it said sleepily.

"Thank you," Ed replied, and left without another glance.

He was just reaching the top of the staircase when he heard his name being called. He turned to see the Colonel walking towards him.

'What?'

'Shouldn't you be in class?'

'Professor McGonagall gave me a pass to the library to research Transfiguration theory.'

'Ah.' Mustang fell into step with Ed. 'I was going there, too.' There were a few minutes of silence. 'How have your first days been, shorty?' he asked with a smirk.

Ed whipped his head around to glare at him. 'Who're you calling so short he's a third of the height of a pixel, Colonel Bastard!'

Roy turned to one of the paintings. "Did you happen to hear anything? I think I might be losing my mind."

The painting looked at him oddly. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that, sir."

'You're not losing just your mind, Bastard. I'll cut you off at the waist and then kick your head in!'

'Are you admitting you can't reach it as you are?'

'Oh, you're going down.'

'Like I haven't heard that one before. Bluey.' He flicked the end of Ed's braid as if to prove a point.

Ed rolled his eyes. 'Shut up. It's not like I didn't pay them back.'

Roy almost grinned. 'Do tell.'

'Only if you stop looking like you got into the cookie jar.' Roy put on his best straight face. 'I've got pictures of them drunk beyond anything and playing strip poker. And doing some rather compromising things, I might add.'

'So why weren't you partaking in all of the fun?'

Ed raised an eyebrow at him. 'Are you, a "responsible" adult, trying to convince me, a minor, to drink?'

'Oh, come on. Like I've never imbibed you with alcohol during HQ parties. Haven't I always told you to get a life?'

'And second point: they were playing _strip_ poker. I don't want any awkward questions just yet.'

Roy gave him a curious look, which Ed was sure had nothing to do with the mention of the mission.

'Okay, I give in!' he exclaimed with an embarrassed blush for having been caught. 'Yes, I drank. Now shut up and gloat in your special corner reserved for such activities!'

They didn't talk for the rest of the time it took to get to the library, having nothing more to say.

When they walked in, Mme. Pince didn't even ask for a pass from Ed on account of being with a professor, so he balled up the slip and stuck it into his pocket. 'Do you even know where to start looking?' he asked to thin air.

'I don't know, Fullmetal, how about in the Transfiguration section?'

Ed rolled his eyes and flipped him off. 'Stuff it, Useless.'

Roy chuckled and nodded his head over to the correct direction. 'If I remember from my tour this morning, it's over here. Come on, I'll help you get started.'

'As if I need help from you.'

Roy ignored him.

Ed huffed and followed. He tugged a thick book out from the shelves labeled "Beginners Guide to Transfiguration Theory". 'I hope the book is as straightforward as the title.' He tucked it under one of his arms and continued looking for other intriguing titles. 'I can't believe I never asked this,' he said in a voice loud enough for Roy to hear, 'but why are you even here?'

Roy cocked an eyebrow. 'You're not the only one with free periods, genius.'

'No, that's not what I meant. I mean – why are you here at Hogwarts in the first place?'

'Oh. Hawkeye thinks it would be good for me to strengthen my foreign relations.'

It was Ed's turn to look at his partner strangely. 'Are you sure? Maybe it just creates more paperwork for you to do.'

Roy laughed nervously. 'If it is, then I'm screwed.'

Ed shook his head and started walking to a table. 'Whatever, bastard.'

An hour later, Ed slammed his book shut. 'This is bullshit!' he exclaimed. 'They just keep on talking about wand movements and who created which spell!'

Mustang shut his book with a little less force than Ed had. 'Would you mind if I gave you my point of view on this?' he asked.

Ed shrugged. 'It's better than nothing, right?' he replied and sat back.

'From talking to different people, I've come to believe it has its roots in alchemy, but instead of drawing upon the user's energy, it takes from the Earth's – which, in turn, borrows from the sun. And in place of people having to memorize all sorts of complex formulas at the price of higher efficiency, they created a different one for each type of magic that uses more energy.' Mustang stopped abruptly and shrugged. 'Yeah, that's my theory.'

Ed grumbled. 'You mean it's as simple as that? Here I was thinking it was stupid and complicated and magical.'

Roy laughed. 'I'm pretty sure it's just a dumbed-down version of alchemy.'

'Wizards are lazy.'

'Indeed.' He drummed his fingers against the table and then suddenly laughed.

Ed looked up.' What?'

'Do you remember the time when Breda swapped all of Havoc's cigarettes with candy?'

'Pft, yes. What brought this on?'

'Oh, the twins remind me of him. By the way, what more revenge are you planning on them? I doubt you're just going to put up compromising pictures around the school and call it good.'

Ed leaned in conspiratorially. 'Oh, let me tell you about it.'


End file.
